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Guess who popped in another call to me ? Yes, my ex-boyfriend, who I believed was the love of my life. The boy I was willing to drop everything to be with.

He called me to tell me that him and his cousins were thinking of planning a trip down to Australia in December, and that we could catch up when and if that happened.  Now I know for certain that Robert still wants me.  I don’t know if he still has feelings for me, but I know for a fact he still wants me physically.  And I still want him too.  I’m just afraid that when we’re looking into each other’s eyes, I will fall for him all over again.

And then there is Ryan, who is coming down in November.  Me and Ryan don’t have the history that Robert and I had, and my connection with Robert will definitely be stronger since we used to be lovers, and what pulled us apart was not because we fell out of love, but because he moved away and we were young and not ready for such a big commitment which involved online.  We tried, oh yes we did, but it was hard.

I want to explore what me and Ryan have, but I also want to be in Robert’s arms again.  But I cannot have both men.  I need to choose one.

Time will tell…

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