Sometimes you just need to remind yourself to give up, let go, and move on.
I recently befriended a bulimic girl and I wish I could help her realise what she is doing, but it’s hard. She doesn’t have self esteem, she thinks she’s fat, that she’s ugly, and she’s shy, and thinks she’s not good at anything. She’s actually gorgeous, too skinny, amazing at art, takes great photos and she should have nothing to be shy about.
I really can’t do much right now, except be a friend, keep reminding her to not throw up, and hopefully in time, make her realise the harm she’s doing to herself.
Anyone have suggestions?
Earlier this year, one of my close friends ran away from home. I helped her. She was going to do it whether or not I helped. She didn’t tell her parents. She told them she was going on a university camp. Packed her stuff that morning, and flew to New Zealand where she started a new life. She gave me a letter to give to her parents.
A month later, her father approached me, asking me about his daughter. He figured that I was a part of it, and he has been asking me to talk to her, coerce her to come back. I knew what she did was wrong. Before she left, I asked her to stay, I tried to persuade her but it did not work, so I knew my chances were even slimmer over the internet. None the less, I tried, even just a phone call she refused.
She blamed her parents for her depression, and she felt like her ignoring them was a punishment for them. With more and more encounters with her father, I feel like she has left me her unwanted baggage, and now I have to handle it, even though it is not my situation to handle. As much as I want to help, there is nothing I can do, and I do not have the heart to tell him she does not want him in her life. That shouldn’t be something for me to say to her, and when I asked her to do this one thing, if not for her parents, for me, she blatantly refused. She told me I should just cut them out of my life like she did them.
I was so mad. She doesn’t understand how selfish and immature she is acting, and it feels like she only cares about her happiness, when just two weeks ago, she told me she was no longer happy in New Zealand. I hope she cherishes the happiness she feels right now, because that won’t last. I know that is cruel, but until she realises that her depression is not caused by her parents (who do nothing but love her), but is caused by her own selfishness and naiveness, she will not be happy. She can leave her problems all she wants, but they will always be unresolved, and will slowly catch up with her.
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—the small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.
Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.
Last week, one of my work colleagues said to me: “You’re always happy, aren’t you, Cindy?”
The ironic thing – i was breaking apart inside that day.
Guess you just become good at hiding when you do it so much. (Maybe that also explains why i was always the last to be found in hide and seek – yes i still play).
Has anyone ever picked up their life and just moved away, starting fresh? How was it like?
Living in another country or state has always been something that i wanted to experience, but now, the idea is becoming more and more enticing. If i think about it, what do i have here that i couldn’t replace elsewhere? I’m sick of the people who surround me, i’m not particularly happy with life, i dont have a steady job yet as i am still studying. So after im finished studying, why not pick up and leave?
I want to start anew, with new people who dont know anything about my past, with people who do not look down on me and belittle me. With people who i can be myself around. (But first i need to figure out who i am).
The only thing stopping me is: failure. I dont want to get to my new life, and not being able to support myself.
Today, i sat in my university toilets and i cried. I let the tears fall, washing away some of the pain i had built up inside of me. I let it go, coming to my senses, realising all too well – he was right.
As always, im the one who is wrong and everyone else is right.
I just have to keep reminding myself that i need to be optimistic, and i cannot close myself off from the world, not again. With him, i felt so alive. It was something i hadnt felt in a long time.
With everything good, comes pain. That i need to remember.
I spoke with a professional, poured my heart out, all my thoughts that i kept written away and she sat there and listened to my story, to my pain and to my thoughts. It indeed was refreshing, but just after i had gotten it out, another brick wall gets slammed in my face.
When will all this stop? Is this puishment for something i did so horribly somewhere in the past? Im not that bad of a person am i ?
If everything happens for a reason, why do so many bad things happen ? Or am i just focusing on the negatives here and omitting the positive? Probably, given my current mental state.
But despite all that, i will be fine.
I’m going to be okay, and I’m going to be happy. I’m going to take our time together and cherish it, and I will make sure i remember everything he’s taught me. I’m glad for what we had, and I’m going to try my best and focus on what’s important in my life right now. I know in time, I’ll be on top of the world. I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, and I know he does care about me. When we meet again, I hope we will both look back at this moment and have absolutely no regrets.
I am a mess.
I’m sitting here, wishing i could talk to somebody about the screwed up things going on in my head right now, but i have no body to talk to. To be more specific, i have nobody i want to talk to.
I dont like my friends seeing me a mess, i’m not like that.
I called my friend last night and cried on the phone to him, he didnt know what to do. I didnt know what i was doing, so i hung up. It’s not me.
My friend spoke about how comforting and eye-opening speaking to a psychologist is. I feel like i need to do that just to get all my emotions, that i have hidden for so long, out. I want to stop living my life for a few weeks and just escape. I want to go away and just figure out myself.
Shit, im depressing and totally killing the mood.