I got a missed call today. Usually when i get a missed call, it can only mean one peron – Ryan.
It’s so stupid how he can still have this effect on me when i’m not even sure if it is him calling. The simple thought of it being him just makes me feel weird and nostalgic and a bit sad. I need him to be out of my life until november 20. Thats when my exams finish. I already decided that i would email him once i finished my exams.
Its funny because that just shows how not over him i am, yet i keep telling him and other people that what happened was inevitable, which it definitely was, but just because we were forced in a situation where he had to go one way and i another, that doesn’t mean our feelings left with us. I guess this morning missed call has made me realise how i”ve not yet moved on yet.
I started thinking of our time together…it hurts that i’ll never be able to touch him affectionately again. My boundary can only go as far as a friend’s touch….
Ryan, i miss you. I hope you’re looking after yourself, and being the responsible adult i know you are. You did the right thing, and i am happy that you have reunited with the people important to you.