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I woke up this morning with 2 messages.
(1) from robert. (For those who dont know who he is, he was my first love)
(2) from ryan.

Talk about weird.
They both want to see me.

Im trying very hard to avoid seeing ryan, but i have something i need to give him… Four people have already said they were busy on friday, and so cannot help me with this favour. Is this a sign from god, or whoever is up there, that i should be the one to see him and give it to him? He’s still sending me mixed signals, despite the fact we both know we can NEVER happen. He wants to see me…. A lot. I’m just scared what seeing him could escalate to, and i dont want to become the person who jeopardises his future.

Robert came to me bevause he was having a terrible week. I guess it makes me happy that he still comes to me when he’s feeling a bit blue, and thinks i can cheer him up and distract him. Me and robert, every time we talk, we have something there. Its why we dont talk as much as we could. He was vulnerable today…he flirted with me a lot. He’s so hard to resist, but i resisted him. I told him to stop, told him we do this every time and its not healthy for either of us. I must be growing up if i can plain out reject him…for i’ve never been able to before.

Sigh…

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