Today, I got pissed off at Zak. It was our first day back at uni and I saw him, however I felt like he was pushing me away and didn’t want to be seen to be together with me around campus. When we were alone in our lecture, he was back to his old self, but outside, it was something different. I brought it up with him and he just told me that he didn’t feel it was necessary to show intimate affection at uni, but then how come it’s only like that when we are in public? Being in public never stopped him before, it was only at uni that did.
Having that little talk with him scared me. I now feel scared, scared that I’m going to keep falling for him so hard, and he’s going to stop falling for me. At the beginning, he was the one who was scared, but now, I’m scared. What if he gets to know me more and he decides that he doesn’t like the person who I am ? I have never been scared and uncertain like this before. I don’t want to lose him.