Today, one of my friends asked me if I kept an online diary, and in many ways, this is my online diary because it is my way of expressing feelings I do not wish to share, and also moments I want to cherish.
But I have not been back here for a long time, and in all honesty, I forgot about this blog until she reminded me by bringing the topic up.
I think I started blogging back in my early teenage years. It was a period of time where I was going through many crisis’. I felt like I was misunderstood, it was me against the world, my identity was rocky and I was in a very uncertain phase of my life.
But now, everything is so clear. I have my goals, I have the people in my life whom I love, and I have a family that I cherish in my own way, I’m healthy, I have a job, I’m continuing my studies next year into my masters degree… so I don’t think I really have anything to complain about! Maybe that is why I have been neglecting this blog so much.
This blog was what I came to when I had no body else, or when I was too scared to talk to anybody. But ever since meeting Zak, he has taught me to not be afraid of that, and to talk, communicate and express my thoughts and feelings, because that is the only way others around me will understand where I am coming from and what I want.
I had always believed I was more outspoken in terms of my feelings and thoughts than most people, but I guess that was just a front. He saw through that and wanted to get to know deeper and deeper things about me. Things so personal I feel embarrassed thinking about it, let along sharing them to anyone! But with his efforts, he forced these things out to me. So now, he is what I turn to.
I cannot believe it has already been 10 months together with Zak. The past 10 months have been so amazing, and he has truly showed me what it is like to be happy and to feel loved so dearly by another. He has made me into a person I am happy with, and he has changed my life in many aspects. Having Zak in my life has made me realise how far people are willing to go for their loved ones. I am so grateful to have him in my life, and I really do look forward to our future together, because I cannot see a future without him in it.
In other news… I graduated on monday 16th December from the University of Melbourne with a Bachelor in Science, Major in Pathology!!